“Beginning to understand the wish to die”

I’ve been playing bass for most of my life, and I’ve enjoyed music my entire life. Through all these years I’ve seen the passion for music destroy more than it’s healed. I know people say that music is the best therapy but it’s not the same as true therapy. Music can heal the pain temporarily but once the high is gone then the pain just comes back stronger.

This cycle continues and drives many musicians into a narcissistic state. These musicians feed the music their heart and soul, they pour everything they have into it and sacrifice their friends, family and careers over it. I know that it takes deep emotions to write many of the songs and lyrics that artists put out, then when the success comes and goes the pain and depression can set back in.

There’s a love/hate relationship between the musician and the pain because they feel like they need it to write music. This is what causes musicians to delay getting help. I think the intense musical relationship to the notes and songs comes from a deep understanding of where the writer was at emotionally when they wrote the songs. As a writer capturing those emotions and feelings in the music is a great release, and it gives closure or allows the artist to express something that they couldn’t just outright say. One of my favorite authors is Frank Kafka, he expressed himself through writing and struggled in the same way that many artists struggle today. Stay strong, and always give life one more day, suicide is not an option. We are Band Nerds. “One of the first signs of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die” Kafka