We Are Band Nerds

 This is a tough read. Anyone faint of heart. Easily triggered or ready to snap may need to stop here. Ever Since I saw my first festival I knew the main stage was meant for me. I played hella shows and stages with all you fellas. Then I hit the main stage, bigger stages. Then sleeping in cars. Then broke. Then beyond broke. Then looking around like wtf happened to everyone throughout the years. Man Squad. That’s all I gotta say. One snake at a time squad. We just cut em off, and look forward. We may be a wore out lion laying down at the base of a tree but we are waiting for an opportunity to show the world what we got. I see you squad members. Each of you deserve the biggest stage. Iron sharpens iron. Let’s get these dreams homies. In order to do that we have to keep each other alive. Let’s stay alive together. “I was in the Army and dealt with depression. I’m also submerged in the artistic community. The LGTBQ community and every community that is oppressed. In order to heal from trauma it takes some form of therapy. We need to heal. Beyond that, trying to avoid things that remind you of the traumatic events is tough. So many have become desensitized to murder. When someone is choking my homie to death it should immediately initiate a response to protect. But it seems that we are supposed to act like an NPC (random civilian) on GTA5?! I dealt with trauma similar to this. When someone you know is murdered your life changes. I had to share, and discuss similar tragedies because of my vision. I don’t want to watch any of it to be honest. Thanks”. Sandman. This was in reference to a link I posted about a suspicious hanging in Houston. Stay safe out there squad \m/

The Quarantine messed up our initial plans but we worked around it the best we could, and record anyways. We managed to get a better sound than the Forget Me Nots Album so that’s sweet. I’m happy with my bass tone. The Bass I used was a Warwick (Named: Porsche) BO 4 string thumb bass, from Germany. That bass has a soul, too many tears have been shed over that wood. It had a history before my brother gifted it to me. We are interested in collaborating. Zach reach out! Chino , Fred.. let’s get it poppin. 

The quarantine ruined everything. Seemed like the world was ending. To my band I prolly seemed like tweek from South Park. 
We are keeping our grass cut really short because these snake keep popping up. One thing is true. This band is following Gods will. God shines his light in the darkest corners to expose evil. Stay safe squad. Remember squad suicide is never the answer. Reach out to another squad member if you have thoughts of hurting yourself or others. The enemy never sleeps. Growing out the concrete. Things aren’t ideal. But fuck it. If you stick it out eventually someone will come by that will love you, or you will learn to love yourself and you will thrive. God will send a cloud. Like Chino said in My Own Summer. I know it’s hot. I’m out here too working Squad! 

I’m sure everyone is paying attention to everything we do as a Squad, and everything we do matters. We are the taste makers now! \m/The other day I was hearing the term Yosemite Sam in a bunch of songs, that shit got me hype because I’m from Texas and we hunt a lot. Not to mention since the virus hit the prices of meat went up so I’m shooting squad! And I’m fishing too. Bullets and minnows are cheap. Anyways... Yosemite Sam is the man. Remember I’m not a role model, I haven’t done ANY research on Yosemite Sam other than remembering his pistol packin short fuse funny ass. If you’ve ever been to Six Flags over Texas Theme park in Arlington you know Yosemite Sam. There is a kids section dedicated to Looney Toons. None of that stuff ever made me violent. Yosemite Sam was a great character as far as I remember. I started posting gifs of him shooting his pistols all over the internet, as the music spread I’m sure others did too..... now weeks later when I search for the Yosemite Sam gif none come up with him shooting his pistols. None of those gifs are the angry pissed off Yosemite Sam that I know. The only thing remotely close on my iphone now is a Yosemite with a menacing walk. It’s annoying when things like this get censored. Its art. I see a lot of art being attacked lately in all forms. It’s bullshit. All my work is art. Leave art alone. If you read this far you understand the pain and joy involved with jumping out the mud like a frog, sitting on the bank of the creek. You can get some sun, and let your chains shine for a moment but you know just like I do that when something pops off you’re gonna have to get back in that mud. BLACK LIVES MATTER. SLAVERY HAPPENED. ALL PAST ATROCITIES HAPPENED. YOU CANNOT ERASE HISTORY. PRAISE GOD. PRAISE JESUS. Stay strong squad. 

“In all this, they are surprised that you do not run with them into the same excesses of dissipation, and they malign you; but they will give account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. For the gospel has for this purpose been preached even to those who are dead, that though they are judged in the flesh as men, they may live in the spirit according to the will of God. The end of all things is near; therefore, be of sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer. Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint. As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.” 
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭4:4-11‬ ‭NASB‬‬

 As the Sandman my question to you is what do you do when you sleep? Do you dream of a better life? You know that your job is just a stepping stone to your true dream. Do you want to own your own business? Do you want to play music? Do you just want to reduce the stress in your life by changing careers? What’s stopping you from attaining it now? Maybe the place you live doesn’t accept you for who you are, and few people agree with you on many topics. Why not move to a place where you can be free to speak your mind, or exist without fear of persecution? I remember a comedian once saying “You do know that these roads lead to way better towns right? You don’t have to stay here...”. Find your happiness, explore, find your NERD colony and thrive. Since Disney+ came out I’ve been geeking out watching tons of cool, and amazing shows. It’s like the universe opened up even more. There’s this documentary called Yellowstone where it talks about all the different animals, and climate issues surrounding Yellowstone park. In the documentary there’s this part where you see all the male rams fighting to be the Alpha, the one who can breed with all the females. Then there was a part where a mom grizzly bear had to protect her cubs from a male bear because the male bear would kill her cubs so she would breed with him. You see female bears won’t breed if they are already raising cubs. All this reminds me of how primitive animals can be. As animals I think we need to take time to disconnect from all this cell phone, and media madness. We need to reconnect with nature. I think that’s what some of us may need. Suicide is unique to humans, and that’s one of the many things that sets us apart from other species. I think that in order to get back to our core we need to take time to actually live, and create something real. As a NERD I know you are full of creativity. Even if there are many things you are unable to do then there are still ways that you can become immortal and leave a lasting impression. What’s going to be left behind when you pass away. That’s the question I want you to ask yourself. I was once told that we die twice, once when your body dies then a second time when people stop talking about you. A wise man once told me, regarding multiple things, if it’s hurting you then it’s bad regardless of how good it may be for other people. He also said that the flip side to that is that if it’s helping you then it’s good until it’s not. An example of this is if your parents are pushing you to become a doctor but you don’t want to be a doctor and it’s making you miserable then why be unhappy just to make them happy? Technology can help you or hurt you depending on how you use it. Technology may be what drives you, and in that case you can use it for good. Everything is moving towards the phones anyways so we may as well figure out how to use it without destroying our real life relationships in the process. I think the important thing is to continue to chase your dream. Don’t give up. Don’t let anyone, anything or any job keep you from being truly happy. Like the lyrics of our song Dreamer says: “But I just want some love when the time comes. Let me know you care when I’m tryna share my feelings, get your head up out the clouds now, I need you to come down now, quit wasting your time, because you know very well, it’s all in your mind, and we ain’t got the time for dreamers....”

I try to seek out fellow Nerds whenever I notice one. I’ve been playing music for 26 years and in those years I’ve seen the effects that listening to music has had on people. It provides them the outlet they needed to pour out their soul just as the artist did when they wrote it. As a BAND NERD you know we can hear a song and immediately draw an emotion from it. Songs put a stamp on our lives and create memories with us. Years later when we hear an older song it brings back memories of when you were first listening to it on repeat. We feel connected to the music and the musicians because we relate to the artist. As a BAND NERD we say fuck that mindless drone bee music that everyone else listens to. We want something with substance and heart. Music that matches how we feel because we aren’t fake as fuck. We don’t just gather pollen for the Queen, we have bigger goals. We know that our current situation is only a stepping stone, we find hope and motivation in music. We get in our cars and crank up “AMERICAN TRASH” on the commute to our shitty job to scream the lyrics “fuck this 9-5!!!, fuck my supervisor, fuck HR, fuck you Rhonda!!! With your stupid shirt!!!! Fuck relationships, fuck it all, I fucking quit!!!”. Side note: I wonder what was on Rhonda’s stupid shirt? Music is a form of therapy, and the music we create provides something that nothing else can. If these BAND NERDS song’s help you get through the day then take a moment to share that joy with someone once you recognize that they are a fellow NERD. I’ll end with these lyrics from Dreamer that I’ve shed many tears over. This was definitely written for us BAND NERDS “Every night I dream that I’m a rockstar, bright lights in my face, watch me rock the stage getting paid. But every day I wake up where the rocks are, at the bottom like a slave on this 9-5 I hate. But I just want some love when the time comes. Let me know you care when I’m tryna share my feelings, get your head up out the clouds now, I need you to come down now, quit wasting your time, because you know very well, it’s all in your mind, and we ain’t got the time for dreamers.... all day I think of, can’t wait til I get the fuck up out of here” WABN-Dreamer

Things have been different since Sdot left the family. I really felt like we were family but I haven’t heard from him since. Sdot was an extra in the “Glass House” video. He was a fan before a member. Cam (Cameron Green) was the original drummer of WE ARE BAND NERDS. When Cameron and the original bass player Mark left the band Sdot joined. I joined shortly after. Sdot left the band and Cam rejoined. It may seem like a lot of shuffling but everything did happen for a reason. We have six people in this band. It’s taken a little bit for us to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. See most people are surrounded by yes men. Those people won’t give their true opinions because they worry about losing their connect. The yes men depend on you so they just feed your ego. These yes men will never tell you when you are making a bad decision. These yes men won’t call you out on your bullshit. They won’t tell you when your fucking up or be brutally honest with you. We had tons of meetings and conversations to take ourselves to the next level. Luckily WE ARE BAND NERDS so we aren’t yes men. We had a bunch of arguments, it wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t fun. But like anything you care about it’s worth fighting for. Just like any relationship we had some shit we had to get out to move on. I’m not going to discuss what we went over I just want to say what the outcome was. After all the practices, meetings and arguments we finally arrived at the Railhead Saloon. We love the Railhead Saloon. It’s like our Cheers. I wish we lived closer. We would hang out there all the time. We feel at home there. The regulars love us, and we love them. I knew that this show was really important to the future of this band. We needed to find that on stage magic that we used to have. We needed to get that spark back. If one place could do that for us it could only be the Railhead Saloon because they have magic. The set started off great then started to crash. Things weren’t coming together as good as we had practiced. I couldn’t hear Dj Los or Scullie. My bass guitar got knocked out of tune because Tony bumped into my tuning keys. Sprinkle on some random technical difficulties and there we were trying to get back on course. Fuck man. Fuck. There in the middle of the set I knew we had to bring it back. Once we started playing “Fade Away” I felt it. The spark lit, the crowd lit up, and we lit up. I felt the aura form around my band. The aura that can only be granted by true BAND NERDS that appreciate every note, and every word. We had that connection with the crowd where they got it. They understood what we mean when we say “Not just music”. We were pouring out our souls up there. Like any good family would they picked us up when we were down. They kept us going. Thank you Railhead Saloon! I’m hoping to find a Cheers like this Dallas/Ft. Worth but you can’t force magic.

 Shiprocked, the calm before the storm  

It may seem like we’ve been quiet but we’ve been battling some hellacious demons. Many that all of you face. We are trying to keep our head up and are looking forward to Shiprocked. This will be the biggest show I’ve ever played. I’ve been listening to Hyro the Hero, they are sick and I can’t wait to see them live. I also saw Papa roach and Asking Alexandria live the other day, Asking Alexandria will be on Shiprocked in February with us too. It’s almost unbelievable, I had someone tell me “you should be way more excited than you are...”. We are so excited all we want to do is show the world what we got. We are steadily hustling and writing songs, studying, working, grinding, practicing, talking, strategizing... 

Here lately I’m hearing more new metal on the radio so I’m hoping that people start wanting to support numetal more. I think our approach is different than those pioneers that came before us and I know that we have already left our stamp on this world. Thank you all so much for supporting us and purchasing merchandise. Thanks for coming to shows because many people don’t get out anymore. Live music is dying and all these shows are pay to play so how is any band supposed to survive? Here’s the typical Dallas show run down, you want to open up for a big band coming through town cool, I’m gonna need you to sell 50 tickets at $25 a pop. You’ll get $5 for every ticket you sell. You gotta sell at least 30, money is due before the set times will be established. More ticket sales equal a better slot. Damn sorry not sorry you have a day job load in is at 4pm, you go on at midnight. Maybe 8:30.... still waiting. No-one pays to get into these venues because everyone knows everyone. Tons of people get free drinks so these bars constantly lose money and close down. Any everyone wonders why their favorite band breaks up. Everyone wonders why their favorite venue closes down. The alternative is you play a show where you are lucky if your band makes $75 total. But the Tribute bands are doing great so at least we still have that.

I’ve hit a point in my musical career where I feel like I’m not angry anymore. I used to battle some mental demons, that’s the reason for a lot of my writings. My spare time is usually spent assisting with the mental health needs of the NERD community. I used to see another band’s success or another person’s material possessions and instantly turn into the “player hater’s ball” in my head.  

Now I see things differently. I realize that all those times I was lounging around sleeping, binge watching shows, wearing only work and sleep clothes & being completely unproductive; I was going to die a worker bee. I figured out that staring at my phone wouldn’t make the changes in my life I wanted.  

I needed to use this phone as a tool. A tool to shape my life the way I wanted to instead of wasting my life with it. I started by deleting all the games off my phone. If I have time to play games, then I should use that time to be productive. One of my favorite motivational speakers is Eric Thomas. To paraphrase one of his segments where he talks about not being where you want to be in life; he said, “How are you going to sleep like a baby knowing you have work to do and goals to achieve? How can you sleep-in when you’re broke?” I heard that years ago and it was an eye opener for me.  

The people you see that are successful only sleep 5-6 hours a night. They rarely lounge around. You can’t be successful and watch every game or Netflix series. You could watch shows and play games on your phone until you die and still never see everything you want to see.  

We are flooded with media. I started figuring out what worked and what didn’t. It honestly took way too long to figure this out, so I hope that this helps you so you don’t have to go through all the shit that I did. We don’t have to die worker bees. That’s just what this system is designed to produce.  

At the heart of a BAND NERD is an individual with passion. That same passion can be used for pursuing your own true dream, not some expectation placed on you by the world or your family. A BAND NERD realizes that you can make your own family of likeminded-NERDS to hang out with while you plan your escape from the hive.  

WE ARE BAND NERDS. We are the cool family members that smoke, drink and stop by during random holidays to systematically drop mics. We aren’t fake as fuck. Those fake people are the ones you see on the daily news. We are the same online as we are in person. We don’t get along with everyone, but we aren’t bad people. Family members may be embarrassed to have us around, or, worried about what we will say next. We are just passionate; and small talk kills us slowly. We are the “plus-one” that people worry about.  

As a BAND NERD, we keep our circles small. We don’t hate, we work hard. We don’t envy possessions; we go out there and get it. We don’t kill ourselves because that would make too many people happy.

I’m a bigger fan than a member.

I’m always so excited to see what we come up with next. We have a secret recipe. All these guys could each have their own reality show. They are each so unique, talented and charismatic. I’m the newest member of the band so I’m glad I found them. The coolest part is that I get to be in the videos, photo shoots, practices, recordings then I get to hear the finished product first before anyone. I feel honored to be in this band. The world hasn’t discovered us yet but when they do they are going to flip out. I feel like the song that I’ve been holding in my phone is a hit, I feel like I’m holding a winning lottery ticket in my pocket. I’ve been listening to it on repeat thinking “once the world hears this it’s on”. This must have been what LIL WAYNE was thinking while he was listening to the the first mastered version of Lollipop. The song is called “Sober” We are currently working on a music video for it’s roll out. These lyrics really speak to me. I like the way Maynard from TOOL put it, to paraphrase he said that he doesn’t like to tell people the meaning behind songs because he wants people to interpret it in their own way.That made sense to me. I’m in the inner circle now. These guys asked me to write this blog and I thought maybe I should spill all the beans. But I’m a huge TOOL fan and I understand what he’s talking about. Because artists have completely dissected their lyrics and it clashed with what I thought the song was about. For years I sung my heart out thinking it was about a girl then come to find out it’s about the music industry’s, that’s savage. In the end as artists we just want you to connect to the music.

I feel like we are about to blow up anytime now. Right now all six of us are steadily busy systematically tackling the social media industrial complex. We all read and love your comments honestly it’s all that keeps us going. We constantly chat about it and share the newest fan comments. We love you. We will communicate with our fans instantly, don’t be shy, we need your kind words.

I can’t tell you how many days I was ready to throw in the towel then one of your comments made me give it one more day. That’s what I always try to tell someone when they say the thought of suicide comes to mind, There’s always tomorrow. I can’t tell you how many lives we’ve saved but I know how many lives we’ve lost through this musical journey. My ultimate goal is to get enough money to help with suicide prevention and mental health reform. I’m already helping in tons of ways but once Band Nerds makes it I’ll be able to help out even more. I feel like if we were bees we would be NERD bees. All the other bees are just mindless worker bees but not us. We say Fuck you we have this shit figured out.We don’t want to just harvest for the Queen we want to see the scenery and mountains. We NERDS want to enjoy the planet, vibe and survive. So while everyone else just harvests for the queen we make our own way and live our own lives. We run into drone bees all the time in the wild, we have to work with them and sometimes we end up involved with them and things don’t end well. That’s what our lyrics are about. We are here to rally the NERDS and convert the drones. We hope you relate to the deep lyrics and notes that we put into each song. During the recording of each and every song our mark was made in history.

I’ve been playing bass for most of my life, and I’ve enjoyed music my entire life. Through all these years I’ve seen the passion for music destroy more than it’s healed. I know people say that music is the best therapy but it’s not the same as true therapy. Music can heal the pain temporarily but once the high is gone then the pain just comes back stronger.

This cycle continues and drives many musicians into a narcissistic state. These musicians feed the music their heart and soul, they pour everything they have into it and sacrifice their friends, family and careers over it. I know that it takes deep emotions to write many of the songs and lyrics that artists put out, then when the success comes and goes the pain and depression can set back in.

There’s a love/hate relationship between the musician and the pain because they feel like they need it to write music. This is what causes musicians to delay getting help. I think the intense musical relationship to the notes and songs comes from a deep understanding of where the writer was at emotionally when they wrote the songs. As a writer capturing those emotions and feelings in the music is a great release, and it gives closure or allows the artist to express something that they couldn’t just outright say. One of my favorite authors is Frank Kafka, he expressed himself through writing and struggled in the same way that many artists struggle today. Stay strong, and always give life one more day, suicide is not an option. We are Band Nerds. “One of the first signs of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die” Kafka

We are band nerds, and many people ask what the name is about. After talking with the members I’ll put my spin on it here. We are the outcasts, socially awkward kids that never really grew up. We still have day jobs but we are only there physically because mentally we do everything for music. Music was there for us when no one else was. When we would get made fun of at school for being in the band or liking music that was looked down on. Lugging around band equipment like an albatross feeling ashamed that you had the passion for music. See some people just let the radio or some random playlist determine what they listen to but a band nerd says “fuck you I know exactly what I want to listen to”. As a Band Nerd we dive into every aspect of the music we like, we know the members names, important dates, what gear was used: guitars, pedals, amps, strings, speakers, tubes... all the stories, every lyric to every song, how to play every note. Music consumes a band nerd, and every day we wait for the opportunity to enjoy music, talk about music, practice music, write music, go to shows and perform.